You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
