I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
