what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
