Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
