i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
