just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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