I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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