We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
