There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
