My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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