i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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