I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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