How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
