So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
