Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer

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(512): Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer http://tfl.nu/pw3y

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(417): View more from Missouri

You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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(417): You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!" http://tfl.nu/8q6j

Replies (6) Good night (2546) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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(304): There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year. http://tfl.nu/n54w

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(305): View more from Florida

Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.

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(305): Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS. http://tfl.nu/tzd0

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(647): View more from Ontario

Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.

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(647): Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts. http://tfl.nu/g67r

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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(803): If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right? http://tfl.nu/9kx0

Replies (22) Good night (4179) Bad night (1541) Order T-Shirt
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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(778): Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight? http://tfl.nu/8s8e

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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(410): Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink..... http://tfl.nu/vd91

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(216): View more from Ohio

I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.

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(216): I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession. http://tfl.nu/2xsf

Replies (7) Good night (1887) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.

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(616): All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good. http://tfl.nu/bkrn

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.

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(973): Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless. http://tfl.nu/9nhz

Replies (13) Good night (3540) Bad night (613)
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(806): View more from Texas

There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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(806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

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(317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6

Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (201)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.

(218): View more from Minnesota

And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.

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(612): Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted. (218): And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face. http://tfl.nu/e0j5

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (165)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Do u remember buying that

(732): View more from New Jersey

I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo

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(732): Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog (814): Do u remember buying that (732): I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo http://tfl.nu/x02b

Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (246)

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