i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.