I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.