so explain again why im purple
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!