his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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