it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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