So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
