Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
