NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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