I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
