hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He did a backflip because drugs
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