he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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