Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
