so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
