I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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