No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Randomize
