fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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