I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
