There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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