Define "chronic" masturbator.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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