I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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