"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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