winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
