she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
