What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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