so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
