You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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