my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize