ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
