Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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