So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I could fuck to npr.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
