New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
