so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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