there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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