I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i was in the wii world.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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