Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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