But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My feet surprised me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
