He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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