No stitches, just platelets and will power
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
