planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
