The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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