Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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