I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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