I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
