I must be too annoying 4 u.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
