Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
