I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
