Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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